Government FAIL 101

All I had to do was read the first sentence of this article and my blood started to boil.

Members of Congress are increasingly turning to virtual townhall meetings--conducted by telephone--in an effort to reach more constituents while avoiding the potential that informational meetings might be disrupted by angry and persistent questioners or protesters.

We Americans vote for politicians to represent us in Washington. Its THEIR JOB to listen to their constituents! And now they're afraid to listen to those same folks who voted (or didn't vote) for them? WTF?!?

If you ever wonder why folks are so fed up with the government and consistently give Congress an approval rating around 15%, this is why. Politicians don't really care one bit what their constituents think; for them, politics is a career, not a privilege.

Excuse me while I go puke now.

A Few New Buzzwords for 2009

The most excellent satirist Iowahawk has just penned one of the best posts of all time. Its a wonderful goof on the recent STUPID article in the L.A. Times spinning unemployment into "funemployment". The 'hawk has delivered a few new buzzwords that should now be a part of every gen-Xer's vocabulary:

• Funemployment
• Relax-cession
• Starve-cation
• Pro-stitution
• Pro-verty Lifestyle

If you're over there, check out some of his other great posts. Iowahawk is invaluable.

Why Blog?

In the age of Facebook and Twitter, why should I even bother blogging? In the case of Facebook and Twitter, you've got a known audience. However, blogging about random stuff on blogspot just gets lost in the ether of the Intertubes.

Which, actually might be a good thing.

I guess, if I actually wanted readers and commenters, I could easily get this site indexed by google and compile status through technorati. However, I think I'm content just letting this blog exist in the dark, unoccupied alleys of the Internet.

Nuthin

Ya know folks, its been many moons since I've posted anything here on my blog. The only reason I can submit is "Nuthin." That pretty much describes what's been going on with me for the past 5 months.

I'd really like to update this thing more often, but I'd prefer to actually have something to say. And as of right now, I've got nuthin. Absolutely nothing.

I took a look at my posts from early January and I've realized that I've failed at every task I had planned to do this year. But, that failure lays solely on my own shoulders. Its time for me to get back on the gravy train and get everything back into gear.

Fireworks? Seriously?

Wow.

Standing out on my deck right now I can hear people cheering and fireworks going off. I'm assuming that the election has been called for Obama.

Really folks, this is not a sports match. There is not a winner and a loser. We're electing a President for 4 years. I honestly don't understand why folks will celebrate it like a sports victory.

Life will go on as usual. The Federal Government will continue to be incompetent, no bills will be passed, and nothing will get done.

That's what bugs me about politics these days - its nothing but a "you vs. me" mentality. And in the end, folks feel happy because "my side won". That's what really bugs me the most -- government should not be about "sides". But, thanks to our stupid 2 party system - and the imagined "blue state vs red state" divide - we're pigeonholed. What a shame.

Just A Few Inspiring Quotes

Instead of sitting here complaining, bitching, and simply feeling disgusted with the state of American politics and government, I'm going to share a few of my favorite quotations of all time.

One of my favorite quotable characters is Ralph Waldo Emerson. Its incredibly difficult for me to pick my favorites, since so many of his quotations ring true.

But genius is the power to labor better and more availably. Deserve thy genius: exalt it.

Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons.

Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.

And yeah, I gotta throw a few Regan quotes in here.

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets.

The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would steal them away.

There are no great limits to growth because there are no limits of human intelligence, imagination, and wonder.

I'll save the best for last - Thomas Jefferson

History, in general, only informs us of what bad government is.

Be polite to all, but intimate with few.

A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor and bread it has earned - this is the sum of good government.

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.

I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America, the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry, and of criminal inquiry too.

I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.

And most importantly:

Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny.

Amazing. All of those quotations still hold true today - nearly 200 years later. There are so many more quotations that inspire me, however, I'm tired of writing this post. Also, the beer is starting to kick in. :-)

Cheers Everyone!

Election Coverage Boycott

I refuse to watch any election coverage tonight. All night long you'll hear no-nothing talking-head pundits spewing nonsense, because there's really nothing to talk about. They'll speculate about this and that, trying to waste time while sloppy exit pollsters try to figure out who won so-and-so state based on some sampling of voters that may or may not reflect the opinions of actual voters.

Me, I'm just going to wait until everything is tallied up, and see which candidate collected the most electoral votes, then go along my merry way. In the meantime, I'm just going to chill out and have a tasty La Fin du Monde. Yum.

Right now, I'm watching some Tuesday Night Football. Did you know that Miami is playing Buffalo right now? Its Miami Ohio vs Buffalo U, on ESPN2 :-)

Granted, even ESPN is showing election results in their scroller at the bottom of the screen. Can't I just get away from this election? PLEASE?

I Hate Politics

Honestly, I really hate politics, politicians, political ads, and just about anything into which you can put the word political.

I hate the news coverage of elections. Reporters spew nothing but talking points, half-truths, and flat-out lies. Are journalists so lazy that they can't even do the slightest bit of research before writing an article? Are reporters and newspaper editors so incompetent that they can't even spend 5 minutes with google to do a cursory search before printing a story? Its no wonder that newspapers are losing circulation - they seem to have lost the ability to actually print any article worth reading. Sometimes I think my junior high newspaper had more substantive reporting than most big city dailies.

I hate the fact that political campaigns have turned into nothing but character assassination and tabloid-type personal destruction stories. There's no more honest debate on the issues. I honestly don't care if so-and-so politician smoked some pot, had sex with a hooker, or lost a few thousand bucks betting that the Pittsburgh Pirates would win the World Series. (Well, maybe I'd care if he bet on the Pirates - that's just pure stupidity)

Ya know, I could rant even more -- there is no end to my utter disgust for politics. Ultimately, its such a shame that Americans are always stuck voting for the "least worst" politician for office. All the good, smart people stay away from politics -- they're the folks who actually make this country run. Instead, we're stuck voting for slimy, power-hungry, self-centered shitheads.

I'm a selfish American. My vote always goes to the candidate who will cause the least damage. I'll vote for whoever will fuck up my life the least. And that's why I hate politics. As a wise man once said: "Fuck it. I'm throwing it downfield".

Thanks Starbucks!

Thanks Starbucks! I had to walk around work all afternoon smelling like Frappuccino with a big coffee stain all over the front of my shorts. It's not fun trying to explain to everyone that I didn't pee in my pants - its a friggin Frappuccino stain.

How the heck did I get the stain? I'm still not quite sure what happened. All I know is that the bottom of this particular glass bottle of Frappuccino simply broke off while I was holding the bottle and the entire contents spilled all over my shorts! How the heck does the bottom of a bottle just fall off?!?!?

Now I have to go de-Frappucinno my shorts. Yay.

Time to Get the Heck Out...

Its time to get the heck outta Dodge Dome. Its obvious that domes and the Sox are not getting along very well this season. They've got a mere 2 wins in 12 games - having been swept in Toronto and Tampa. They eeked out a win in Tokyo, and only took 1 of 4 here in Minnesota.

Baseball is meant to be played outdoors on natural grass. I can accept a retractable roof, as long as the stadium has some natural grass - which Milwaukee and Phoenix have done very well. No more turf! No more domes!

Man, I Feel Old Today

No, I'm not talking about slowing metabolism, nor the loss of unlimited energy, nor the fact that I can't party like its 1998. I feel old today because 10 years ago:

• Seinfeld went off the air
• Kerry Wood had his 20 strikeout game (Wow, check out the SportCenter clip. Those were some of the nastiest sliders and curveballs I've ever seen in my life)
• I graduated college!

Its just scary to think that these memories are still relatively fresh in my head, yet they all happened 10 years ago. I've been out of college and working in software for 10 years!

Wow. Unbelievable.

Shamwow!

Shamwow? If you ask me, its more like ShamWhy! [Ha ha ha! Thanks for the applause folks, I'll be here all night.]

Holy crap. This has got to be one of the worst commercials I've ever seen. Unfortunately, that also means its going to be one of the most memorable commercials I've ever seen. Why does the guy need to wear a headset to show off the amazing qualities of the Shamwow?

I really don't want a Shamwow. I really don't need a super shammy. I had never even heard of a "shammy" until I saw this commercial. It looks just like a towel to me. Yet, I now have this strange desire to get one. Look at how absorbent it is! Wow! ShamWOW!

Random Thoughts

My head is always filled with such random thoughts. I'm always thinking about something. I think that's why I have such a difficult time putting together a coherent blog post.

Sometimes I love my random thought process -- other times, its frustrating.

Spring is here????

According to my calendar, today is the first day of spring. According to me, its still winter. Accuweather claims that the "real feel" temperature is 30 degrees with the 30 m.p.h. wind gusts. That sounds, looks, and feels like winter to me!

C'mon mother nature! Its spring! Make the cold go away!