Yankees Bullpen is Fat and Ugly

Has anyone else noticed that about 1/2 the Yankees bullpen is fat ugly dudes who can't pitch? For such a team full of high-priced glamor players, their bullpen looks like a bunch of guys that were eating steak and eggs at the roadside truck stop yesterday. Let's look a little closer:

Chris Britton
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 280
Fat AND Ugly
Comment: Last week, I think this dude was selling used cars in Somerville just across the street from the Target on Somerville Avenue. I'd venture to say the Burger King Quadruple Stacker was his daily lunch. You suck.

Brian Bruney
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 245
Fat AND Ugly
Comment: I swear, this guy was making Peanut Buster Parfaits at Dairy Queen last summer. At the end of his shift, he'd eat all the soft-serve ice cream left in the machines. You Suck.

Ron Villone
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 245
Normal, but still Fat
Birthplace: Englewood, NJ
Comment: Way, way, wayyy too much pasta and cannolis. You suck.

Mike Myers
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 225
Birthplace: Arlington Heights, IL
Funny looking, still Fat
Comment: Dude, lay off the Old Styles and Hot Dogs. Just because you enjoyed Mr. Submarine doesn't mean you can throw the submarine pitch. You suck.

Average Weight: 248.75 pounds

Now, that's a LOT of suckitude.

I think I've proven my point.