Quit: Day 3 - Failed

Day 3: Failed

I'm really not sure what happened to me today. For some reason, I've been really high-strung and nervous all day long. When I left my apartment this morning, I just kinda felt strange - I turned off all my heat and moved over some old newspapers just in case the ice/snow started to leak through my roof. Once I got everything ready to go, my mind was just somewhere else and I ended up checking that my doors were locked about 4 times before I finally left! INSANE!

I made it to work just fine - albeit I was soaked and frustrated that I had to trudge through 6 inches of water in the curb at every street crossing. I even made it through the morning just fine.

However, for some reason, after lunch, my anxiety just shot through the roof. I started chomping 2 pieces of gum, but I still was extremely anxious. I kept wondering to myself:
- "Is my cat going to freeze because I turned off the heat?"
- "Is there water streaming through the tiny crack in my ceiling?"
- "Should I go home and check?"
- "Why am I being so crazy?"
- "Trust yourself - stuff is fine!"

I finally ended up heading out in the afternoon to finish the day working from home. Even when I got back here and realized that everything was just fine, I was still incredibly anxious and nervous, for no reason. The gum couldn't calm me down. Twittering couldn't calm me down. There was just no one around. I just had to get my mind off everything!

So, I broke down and had one. Booooooo! I'm disappointed in myself.

So, tomorrow, its time to climb back out of my hole and try again. It sucks, but I guess it may be a game of 2 steps forward, 1 step backwards for me. Maybe I was crazy thinking I could just do it on my first shot.

No use in bitching about it - I've just gotta get up, dust off, and do it again. Practice makes perfect.